Mommy Ichi
by hylian-dragoness
Summary: Yachiru finally admits to Kenpachi that she wants a mommy. The only problem is that Kenpachi hates just about all women. He and Yachiru can think of only one person to be the mother figure: Ichigo Kurosaki. But will he pass their tests? Yaoi slash KenIchi


Hey! Here's a story I began awhile back. I'm deciding to upload because I figure someone would at least want to read part of it, haha. Plus, in a lot of KenIchi fics, Yachiru is barely in it, if she is at all :/ So I decided to give her a main role!

I don't own Bleach! And un-beta'd!

Warnings: yaoi!

* * *

**.x.X Mommy Ichi X.x.**

Zaraki Kenpachi slowly followed his hyper lieutenant through Soul Society. He and Yachiru were walking through one of the richer districts—the fourth district. The bubbly pink-haired youth wanted some ice cream, and Kenpachi could never deny the girl anything. She even somehow managed to talk him into getting a cone of his own, which he downed in one large bite.

_She'll be the death of me,_ he grumbled mentally. Kenpachi couldn't help but grin like a maniac when he saw people avert their eyes from him, which made many people flinch and hurry about on their business.

Yachiru pouted. "Ken-chan, that's mean," she whined, and gently hit his leg. The blow would knock any normal man off his feet.

"Oh shush, you know you like their reactions too," he mumbled, and she grinned. Then her face suddenly went blank. "Yachiru, what's—" The captain stopped himself when he saw what the girl was looking at.

A young girl, about Yachiru's age, had just fallen. She started to wail when she saw that she had a scratch, but was instantly comforted by her mother. Kenpachi sighed. Yachiru would get like this only rarely—sure usually never thought about not having parents for most of her life, but now…

"Kenpachi." Yachiru's voice was suddenly serious. It was much more mature sounding and aged than her usual exuberant tone. "I…I want a mommy."

The monstrous tan man stood before her, contemplating. A mommy…that would mean a woman, wouldn't it? Kenpachi didn't like women, to be honest. Just about all of them, except for a few shinigami and espada, were weak. That's pretty much all there was to it. But Yachiru…

The eleventh division captain sighed. "Very well, Yachiru. I'll find you a mommy."

Yachiru's expression instantly brightened. "Yay!" she cried out, latching onto Kenpachi. "Thankies, Ken-chan! Not only am I gonna be happy, but Ken-chan is too!"

"Yeah, yeah," the large shinigami said nonchalantly. "C'mon, let's go. I gotta fight a fight with Abarai."

* * *

Ichigo groaned when his alarm clock went off. "Fucking…arghhh…Dun wanna get up…" He slammed his hand on his beaten up alarm clock and collapsed his head back on his pillow so he could sleep. Or, at least try to.

"ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WAKE UP, MY BEAUTIFUL SON~!" Ichigo jolted awake, but it was too late—Isshin had already tackled him in bed.

"Ack! Fuck, dad, I'm up! What kind of father freaking attacks his son when he's sleeping?" The orange-haired teen shouted, kicking his dad out of his bed. Isshin landed on the floor with an "oof"!

"Well, what kind of son does that to his father?" Isshin whined. "Oh, and Yuzu has a bit of a cold, so you get to play mommy and make us some grub!" The man then zipped out of his son's room, narrowly avoiding the alarm clock his son chucked at him.

"Honestly," Ichigo growled while at the skillet, "what kind of father can't even freaking make food?" It was true, though. The last time Isshin tried to cook food, he somehow blew up the microwave , which resulted spaghetti on the ceiling for days until Ichigo noticed it was there. "Stupid goat face," the orange haired teen grumbled. He didn't really mind cooking food, though. He and Yuzu were the only ones who could make it edible in his household anyways.

"Yo, Ichigo," he heard Karin say from behind, making him pause in his egg scrambling. His sister was wearing a white tee and black guy shorts—her pajamas. "Nice pj's, bro." Ichigo froze and looked down, and couldn't help his face turn a fierce red. His own pajamas consisted of fuzzy baby blue drawstring pants and a soft blue cotton t-shirt. Which, by the way, had pink and white Chappies all over them, courtesy of Rukia.

"Shuddup, Karin, or no breakfast for you," he huffed, and dumped the eggs on a plate in the middle of the kitchen table. The raven haired girl shrugged and sat down across from Yuzu, who was wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe. "Juice, Yuzu?" Ichigo asked gently. She was healthy enough to walk around, but still had a nasty cold. She nodded and he helped her to some orange juice. He sat down just as his father began to say something.

"Oh, my glorious son, Ichigo," he hummed. "You would make a good wife~"

"What was that, goat face?" Ichigo practically shouted, slamming his hand down on the table and making everything jump. Yuzu giggled, Karin snorted, and Isshin grinned. He loved getting a rise out of his son.

He cackled. "You've got your mother's good looks, her cooking ability, and her kindness. But not to mention, her cute butt!"

"What are you doing looking at my ass, you creepy pedo dad!" Ichigo shouted, flushing red.

"Just merely stating the facts, kiddo," he said, and cackled again.

The teenage boy blushed again and didn't say another word until breakfast was over.

* * *

"Freaking dad and his freaking weirdness…" Ichigo mumbled to himself getting some stares. He was now in Soul Society, feeling the need to beat the crap out of something.

So, he figured, why not fight with someone to blow off some steam? But who was the question…aw well, he'd find someone.

* * *

Kenpachi growled to himself. Freaking Abarai blew off their sparring match because he apparently "forgot" about some paperwork. Yeah, right. Yachiru, sensing Kenpachi's put off mood, did some quick thinking.

"Ohhhh, Ken-chan! Do you feel that spiritual presence? Berry-tan is here!" Yachiru smiled. "Let's see him! I like Berry-tan!"

The captain grinned. "Yep, let's go see the berry."

Ichigo paused in his walking, about half a mile from the mess hall, his destination. Something felt…off. Someone was trying to hide their spiritual presence from him, but a small tendril was letting itself be known because they weren't entirely concentrating. A lieutenant or captain, maybe? Either way, he'd be on his guard—

"Berry-tan!" a voice shrieked, and Ichigo found himself being tackled to the ground. Now on his chest he was able to see his attacker—Yachiru.

"H-heya, bubblegum head," he groaned slightly.

Yachriu pouted. "Heya, strawberry," she giggled, liking Ichigo's slightly ticked expression. Suddenly, her lip started quivering.

Ichigo instantly went into big brother mode (or mother hen, if you will). "Yachiru? What's wrong?" he demanded.

"Waaaah, Berry-taaaaan," she whined. "I have a swiver in my hand now!" (1) She then all but shoved her hand into the still grounded teen's face, showing that, indeed, she had a small sliver of wood on her right hand. Internally, she was smirking. This would be Berry-tan's first test…

"Ah…just a second, Yachiru…" He then began to dig around in his kosode until he found a small white case.

Propping himself up on his elbows, he opened it and proceeded to pull out some tweezers and a band aid. "Now give me your hand." The lieutenant complied, and in a few seconds, the sliver was gone and in its place was a pink band aid.

"Yay! Thanks, Ichigo!" she cried, latching onto his chest.

"Ya…Yachiru, can't…breathe…" he wheezed.

"Whoopsies! Sorry, strawberry!" the girl said and helped him up.

Ichigo thanked her, but then frowned, looking around. "Where's Kenpachi?" he asked, curious. Those two were rarely far apart.

"Oh~ Well, me and Ken-chan felt your spiritual presence and wanted to go to see you and stuff, but Ken-chan needed to do something real quick and Ken-chan trusts me with Berry-tan, so yeah!" she chirped.

"Uh…huh," Ichigo mumbled. "Well, I was going to go get some food, wanna come with?"

The young lieutenant nodded enthusiastically. "Uh huh! But Ichigo carry me?"

The substitute shinigami's lips twitched in a small smile. "Sure." Yachiru really reminded him of Yuzu…briefly, he wondered if she could cook, but quickly dismissed the thought when the pink-haired youth jumped on his back, locking her arms snuggly around his neck. He immediately grabbed her legs, and off they went.

Kenpachi 's lips twitched into a small smile, having watchted the whole spectacle. Yes, he believed that he had himself a good candidate.

* * *

(1) When I said "swiver" I meant "sliver," lol. But you know the cutesy way little kids talk :3

Anyone who knows where "No breakfast for you!" was stolen from, cookies for you XD hint: it's actually "No soup for you!"

Review please!


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